Oh look! This is the third time today that I’ve decided to warm up my keyboard! My head has been practically going mental with ideas for this blog!
I’ve decided to talk about a really personal matter.
Only a few people know about my anxiety and by the time you finish reading this you will be one of them.
I got my first panic attack during the summer holidays when I was in France.
Me and my mum went to a concert, it was really and I mean REALLY busy. I was kind of amazed by everything, I was in that pinch-me-I-must-be-dreaming mood. So then, I lost my mum in the crowds. I started to panic cause I wasn’t in England somewhere where I knew where to go. I was at a busy place in a foreign country without my phone and I knew no one who could help me. I didn’t even know where exactly I was in France. I mean I could have tried asking for help but trust me you do NOT want to hear my French accent.
Gosh even thinking about it makes me feel all shivery!
Suddenly, I felt trapped. There was this tightness in my throat and I felt like I could’t breathe. Everything started becoming too loud, too bright, too much. My heart started beating so fast that I felt like instead of 80 beats per minute it was doing a 1,000. The excited chatter started sounding menacing and I became really hot inside and cold on the outside at the same time. My palms started sweating…and I just felt suffocated.
It was the WORST thing I have ever experienced. I didn’t know what to do but then I felt hands grabbing me and the next minute I was near the seaside. Eventually, my heartbeat calmed down and it all went back to normal. The people that I met were the people that were also camping and their tent was near us.
They told me that they saw us at the camping place and asked me if I was alright and helped me find my parents.
I asked them not to tell my parents what happened because I didn’t want to worry anyone more than I already have. Plus I told them that I just panicked and that’s all.
After that day I’ve never gotten panic attacks until not that long ago and now I’ve been getting the panicky moments again and again. Whether I am in school where it’s really busy or somewhere else, I am always close to getting one.
But then I started reading lots about what it might be and how to cope with them. I tried lots and lots of things but these five really helped.
- This will sound stupid but do NOT fight it.
Let it happen and just keep saying something like ‘It’s okay’ over and over. This instantly calmed me, I felt so good cause I faced it and it was alright! Think of the worst that can happen and just try and think yourself into having that worst thing – it won’t happen, it’ll just fade.
2. If you’re not at home, go home and snuggle up in a blanket or something that makes you feel safe.
For me its my mum’s dressing gown. It’s got her signature scent that reminds me of safety + it is cosy and snug. Not to mention the fact that it is warm. Then I tend to make myself either drink a hot chocolate or increase my sugar levels or both 🙂
3. Talk to someone you feel like you can trust. For me it will be my friends because they make me feel safe. Like right now I am writing this and it does seem to help.
4. When you get it, drink more water & get some fresh air!
Whether you’re in school or somewhere else you can always find water and open a window!
5. This one is something I tried today: think of a person, a different person that you would like to be.
I thought of this person called ‘Skye-strong Fresh’ I know it’s a bit silly but when I get panicky I start pretending that I am that person and it weirdly helps me to make the anxiety go away. The sky makes me feel a bit calm (as does the seaside) however I don’t live near the sea so it’s just the sky that can calm me most of the time. The word ‘strong’ is just a reminder that I can get through it. Finally I associate the word ‘fresh’ with air and breathing – I know I’m weird. But pretending to be someone else – a confident version of me helped me so much so I thought I’d share this with you guys!
I hope this post helped you in any way. It feels weird telling you about this because this is my vulnerable side and I haven’t really let anyone see/read it so I’m a little bit nervous to post this.
Hopefully, one day my anxiety will go away and I will be able to deal with it! 🙂 *virtual hugs*
Lots of love,
Rosypop going back to the ‘real’ world xxx