Oh look! This is a yet another ‘How to’! You might remember that I promised to do this post separately to the ‘How to: Deal with friendship problems?’ So here we go!
Family problem No. 1: Death
This is probably the hardest one for the whole family…If you know someone who has experienced this family problem recently, rather than being a bit overboard with sympathy and having a really really good time on purpose. For example doing all the things your friend loves…Don’t. Because it will keep reminding them of why you are doing it! Instead carry on as normal. It will help them take their mind off things and I think school will become an escape from what’s happening at home.
If it is you who has experienced this family problem, if your friends are doing what the natural instinct tells them to do (being really sympathetic etc.) Then tell them to carry on as normal. If you don’t and instead try and find other people (who don’t know about the problem so that you can carry on as normal) your friends will start to feel confused and left out. This may lead to a massive argument…Let’s face it that’s not something either you or your friends want after you’ve experience you-know-what of a family member.
Family problem No. 2: Parent’s Arguing/Divorce
You have to just remind yourself that it’s your parents life and not yours! So if they decide to go their own different paths you have got to accept that, and start supporting your parents more because it will be just as hard for them as it probably is for you. Remember you can to take care of yourself and also to be fair to your parents.
In regards to arguments. Well pretty much everyone has them. Sometimes they do not mean anything, sometimes they can lead to divorce. You can’t do much to control them but you can talk to you parents and ask them if they can stop arguing in front of you. They might forget that you are still a child as grown up as you may be, so you need to remind them that.
Family problem No. 3: A ‘problematic’ member of the family
Well guys I know that there are a lot of families with children who have disabilities, or other awful things. To cope with this problem is really hard. The best thing to do is to talk to that member of family. If they’re ‘problematic’ so they run away a lot and do other things, then let them know that you still love them. Talk to them try and get to ‘their heart’. They might look like they are not listening but they will be. My mum’s friend deals with autism for example. So here are some tips from her:
1.Create a home safety zone. (also helps with anxiety)
2.Stick to a schedule.- they often like to have everything organized. Set up a schedule for your child, with regular times for meals, therapy, school, and bedtime.
3. Don’t give up.
4.Reward good behaviour – as childish as that sounds.
Check out the website below for a bit more on autism:
Family problem No.4: Parents that nag/criticise
Show that you listen and understand their criticism by repeating what they say in a respectful way. Get them to talk about what they did as teenagers – this may remind them of what you’re going through. Sometimes, parents criticize you too much or even put you down. Try talking to your parents or writing them a letter about how you feel. If that doesn’t work, talk to an adult you trust about it. Although, you might feel frustrated and feel like stopping trying, try and do really well in something to prove to your parents that you’re better than they might think!
I hope this helped some of you, and well done for reading my really rambly post!
Lots of love,