I used to never be able to start blog posts (I still can’t) but now I can’t even think of titles! 🙂
Anyway, this is going to be quite a long rambly post so you might have to read quite a lot.
So lately, I don’t really know what’s going on with me. I’m involved in quite a few friendship arguments and it’s really getting to me.
I don’t know…one of the bloggers that I love once talked about how easy it would be if life was as easy as picking up dog poop. I know it sounds weird but hey, I’d love it if someone could come and get rid of the shit in my life. I mean why can’t it be that easy?
But yeah…lately I’ve just been feeling so broken. Like I’m shattered. I feel like a robot who has to act human… smile, laugh, and carry on living. Only I don’t see the point in living a life that’s filled with hate and troubles. Don’t get me wrong I’m not suicidal. It’s just I can’t think of any other way to describe how I’m feeling.
I don’t enjoy doing the things I loved any more, that’s partly why I haven’t been blogging. I’m always busy doing homework but before I used to try and find time to blog because I loved it. I still do and it feels good to be back.
I actually don’t know what is wrong with me.
If you think of a glass of water I’m like that (I know that sounds weird.) If that glass has been shattered once you can glue the pieces together and you can refill it with water (although the cracks will stay.) If someone carries on dropping it it will carry on shattering until some pieces will go missing and all the water that was once inside is gone. If you refill the glass the water will pour out because there will be pieces missing of that glass. Luckily though, nobody is that mean to a glass of water, unluckily that can happen to people. The only difference is that you can throw a broken glass of water away, and you can’t throw your life away without hurting others…family, friends….
I feel like I’m so broken that I have no emotion left. I just feel empty…hollow like someone can’t break me any more. Because there’s nothing left to break.
I’m sorry that this post is so depressed. But I’ve been keeping this to myself for so long that I need to let someone know.
I don’t want to make anyone depressed or sad….that’s why I’ve been smiling a school, pretending that life is fine when it’s far from fine.
Why can’t our life be normal? Why can’t we be eternally happy? Why do some people always have to be there to hurt you where it hurts most? I want to go back to being happy, enjoying art and other things I love, but I don’t know how. If you ever felt the same please could someone let me know because I don’t know how to deal with this.
I’m so sorry that this is so depressing I will have nicer posts soon! *virtual hugs*
Lots of love,