Hey guys,

So I finally decided to talk to you about something that has been happening to me for a while now. This is really difficult to write about because it’s so personal but normally opening up to you all makes me feel better because you are always so lovely and supportive – so *fingers crossed* here goes.

Quite a while back I did a post on Anxiety and there I explained how I got my first panic attacks and what tips you can use to deal with it. What I didn’t explain was what caused me to have panic attacks again and again after the trip to France (it will all make sense if you’ve read the other post.)

So when I got back to school I was really happy – not because I was back at school (hell no) but because I got to meet all my friends and it was like a reunion in a way.

Everything was perfect. I have to admit I wasn’t happy with some of the teachers but that didn’t matter. And then everything started to go downhill. Friends that we friends for a long time started falling out. I was in a friendship group and we all fell out. Well two of my friends went and I stayed with the other friend who I’m going to call Beatrice. I was so hurt that I actually cried – I’m a very emotional person but normally I never cry anywhere unless I’m on my own. And I’ve been hurt a lot and I was so surprised that this got me. My best friend (the one that I never thought I’d lose) walked off with the other person.  I felt like natural disaster was happening and nobody could control it – this is me being over-dramatic.

Eventually it all calmed down. I made up with my best friend who I’m going to call Violet and me and Beatrice were closer then ever. Nobody really talked about the arguments any more. Now it’s different but there are no more problems – well there are but they are tiny compared to what happened. I’m happy it’s over and I think it’s safe to say it was the worst thing I went through ever. But although it didn’t get too serious and I know I should be happy, it feels like something inside of me is broken –  I know it sounds stupid.

I knew I got anxiety for real now because it isn’t a one-off like it was in France. It keeps coming back. I found things to help me and learnt to deal with it in a way. But lately I’ve been feeling really insecure and I mean really insecure 😦 I’ve been so afraid of it happening again more than it actually happening. Like yesterday, my family decided to go to the park – we were approaching a playground that my brother wanted to go to and I saw a lot of people there. And my anxiety really kicked in as well as my insecurity. It was so bad – at least I was walking 10 paces behind my family and they didn’t see me panic. I mentioned something about me not liking busy places to my mum because I always worry about how I look and I’m insecure (I haven’t told her that I’m also scared of getting a panic attack.) But my mum finds it silly and to be honest it is.

But the worst thing is I can’t control my anxiety any more noting’s helping and I’m so scared…

I hope you don’t mind me writing about this –  I promise I’ll get back to my usual self next week. But if any of you have been through anything that I’ve described and you have any tips pleeease let me know in the comments! *virtual hugs*

Lots of love,

Rosypop xxx


45 thoughts on “Help!

  1. rubyscadence says:

    I don’t know if this will help you but what I do when I feel super anxious is juts tell whoever I am with that I feel anxious and then that makes me feel better, knowing that they know how I am feeling. Like the other day for example, I was shopping at the factory outlet shopping centre near the airport and then the fire alarm went off and there were sirens and a voice saying EVACUATE EVACUATE and that made me scared, as I was near the airport and the Brussels thing has just happened… Anyway, telling my friends that I was anxious really helped calm me down. Xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anonymousblog101 says:

    The falling out sounds exactly what happened with my friendship group. Honestly, anxiety is a struggle, if you see a lot of people dont go in the crowd, walk away in a kind of deserted area and just sit down and take deep breaths.
    For me my anxiety is caused by arguments, it’s hell because me and my friends fall out ALL the time, when its happening I always think to myself “Its not going to stop until we make up” and if I don’t work things out, It gets worse
    I hate anxiety but all you need to do it, move away from the problem area.
    It should help. Get some air.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bibliophile says:

    The falling group that you mentioned, I can relate how you felt at that time. It might be 3 years ago but I still keep remembering them. I too sometimes get anxious while going somewhere thinking how I would look but, I don’t really know about panic attacks, but I’m really sorry. Why don’t you tell your parents?
    I’m sorry this was of not much help but I’m always there if you wanna talk! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rosypop says:

      Don’t worry! This is helpful in a way knowing that someone has gone through something similar does help 😊 I don’t really know but I don’t want to tell my parents maybe i will xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. fluffypuffypuff says:

    I know it will be hard, but you should tell your mom about your panic attacks. It’s better to settle things right away, because when you’ll grow up, it will be even more difficult to deal with it. You don’t want this to become a phobia, right?
    I’m sure your mom will understand you, and it will get some weights off your shoulders. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reine says:

    Anxiety is hard, but you have to always remember that you aren’t alone and there are people out there willing to help you out if you let them. Hope you sort out your feelings soon 😊💕

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Misstery blog says:

    Anxiety is such a struggle, honestly. I completely understand where you are coming from. The only way to beat it, and to control it. I have found is to reach more and more out or your comfort zone. Don’t make a dramatic change, else that will trigger you. Make a small change that eventually builds up to dealing with the situation that makes you feel anxious. Other than that make sure the people around you, friends and family. Know your situation and what may happen, so you have people that know how to help you. Just remember you are not alone, so many people suffer from this. And so many people are her to support you. Always here for you lovely, stay strong ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. daisy360 says:

    First off, I don’t think worrying about your anxiety helps, I mean logic. I would advise trying to chill out, pamper night, colouring, ASMR videos, etc. As for friendship issues, they tend to blow over, don’t let the worry consume you. Every minute you spend sad is a minute of happiness you lose. Trying lying down, breathing in really deeply like your filling a balloon inside of yourself and breathe out slowly.
    I used to think if I saw people laughing in a public place they were laughing at me, I know the feeling. Confidence is the only thing that fixes it.
    If it ever gets too much just remember that your issues now will seem like nothing in years, you will get passed it. You’re only a tiny tiny spec (with a massive heart) compared to the rest of the world.
    Daisy x
    P.S I hope it gets better x If not I am here to talk. x

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Emily Marven says:

    I completely understand the boat you’re in – having struggled with anxiety myself. It is horrible and you are so so brave for talking about it, because many shy away thinking others won’t understand. But we do. Best things to try and do is focus yourself, really listen and concentrate on what is around you at an anxious moment and also find your ‘calm word’ – a word such as peace or ocean that relaxes you and every time you take a deep breathe in and out, say the word in your head.
    I hope you’re okay, as I said I completely get what you’re going through and it’s not easy, but you can do this x

    Liked by 1 person

  9. dewdrops0213 says:

    I understand cause this year I have no classes with friends I see them for 5 minutes lol so i’m asooo lonely, not even minor friend opportunities and I just feel so lonely and out of place. I got super introverted and quite because thoughts were a place I could relax in. I didn’t talk I listened but I was just there. Everyone around me… happy. And… idk. But i’m used to it. This is probably the real me now, which is sad. I probably sound like an outcast but honestly I’m just there. I don’t know trends music songs idk anything and… sigh. As for anxiety breathing is always the answer. Meditation is most important. Breath 5-10 seconds through one nostril, breath out. Switch to the other side- breath in, breath out. Or just take really deep breaths and if you’re feeling shaky, water and breathing is always key, and the most helpful. You can keep yourself busy by playing with your fingers inside your pockets or wiggling your toes, something. A repetitive action usually helps- thats why when I have anxiety or panic from crying wayyy too much, I start getting shaky and I can’t stop speaking weirdly cause my throat is shaking violently, So I rock back and forth naturally, and this repetitive motion helps me. I hope this helps you.


  10. pixiecake says:

    Hey… this is going to sound really rude but I promise it’s not. Please can you check your rosypop email I can’t use my phone and I really need to talk to you (and yes, it’s to do with this) xxx


  11. The Average Gurl says:

    I’ve never had anxiety but I just want to say you are strong. Write as much or as little as you want about it. If it makes you feel better than that’s good xx

    Liked by 1 person

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