Dear whoever’s reading this,

So I feel like I’ve gone and made the title of this post a bit dramatic. But in all seriousness this isn’t going to be a lighthearted post, but something about me.

I feel like in my life I live in two realities, the school (is it bad that I thought school was written as scool?!) reality and the at-home-with-my-family-happy reality.

The thing is if you’ve been with me long enough you would know some of the things I’ve gone through, in terms of friendships. Well, I have always been a bit like an orange. I don’t show my sensitivity and hide behind the tough skin but inside I’m soft and easy to break. And that’s kind of how I feel. I feel like those arguments and everything have broken through my skin and now there is nothing but that thin clear layer of orange peel surrounding the actual orange (have no idea what it is called) left. And now everything seems so much worse than it may be.

My friendships aren’t really broken instead they are good, even better than they were with some people. But there was an incident when one too-cool-for-school kinda girl said something about me. And though it is not even offensive she told it to this person behind my back who then told me because she’s pretty nice and doesn’t like the Mount Everest female cat (personally I think dogs are pretty nice so)(decided to call her a mountain just cause she’s taller than me even though I am older.) It was a silly thing but it really affected me and now I dread every time I have to see her which is twice a week precisely because she does this thing that I do that I can’t say due to anonymity reasons.

And it’s things like these that are slowly breaking me, kind of like erosion of that little bit of orange peel left. I’ve always been a suffer in silence type but I figured that I’d say something just because I want this to stop.

It’snot even just about this girl but about anyone who says something it like feels like a stab instead of maybe like a pinch because it takes so long for me to heal and forget it. In my world, everything that’s said or done to me feels ten times worse than it is and it’s hard breaking out in cold sweat every time I think of school starting. I live for the weekends, holidays and any time I am away from the hell hole.

The thing is I enjoy studying and learning, not a lot but I still enjoy it. It’s the people and the things they do that  affect the way you perceive a place.

If any of you have experienced anything similar please let me know in the comments!

Lots of love,

Rosypop xxx

11 thoughts on “Help!!

  1. | a s h | says:

    My goodness girl take it easy! I totally understand what you’re feeling, some human said something not so quite offensive about you and you came to know from another source and sweetie you’re just overthinking it. It’s a human tendency. All you need to do is tell your brain to go for a walk. You need to except the fact that not everyone is going to think good about you. You could be the repeat peach in the world and there’s still gonna be someone who hates peaches. What I’m trying to say, love yourself and believe in yourself and everything else will fall into place. Just give it some time. Take care. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. girlonrainbow says:

    I hope it will al Figur out and what the hell did she say about you?! You don’t have to tell but just wanted to Point out I hate it when People say realy mean things baout you behind your back, I’m sure it wasn’t even real so don’t let this be so hard on yoursef. <33

    Liked by 2 people

  3. storyteller45 says:

    I had lots of issues with drama when I was younger (I still do), but I face it differently now. I know that my true friends the ones that I really love will be there for me and that I need to focus on them and try to ignore the other people. The mean people in life suck but they don’t matter, they shouldn’t so don’t let them matter. Here is some advise that I am still learning to follow, don’t give people the power to ruin your day, no one should have that much weight on you.

    Liked by 2 people

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